Time goes by yes, I progress in my journey and God answers prayer. He encourages me through my brothers in Christ. In prophecy through words of knowledge. Just thought I’d write down what is happening just a record that he lives.

So far I am selling my car. I get 85% of what I paid for it after six years. I will still have the car with me as well after selling it. Talk about having the cake and eating it.

I have an offer of a job completely different from what I have been doing so far. Can I do it? With him everything is possible. Waiting for him to work things out.

I got a part time job as well so some money comes in. Yes he provided I never looked for it. It came to me.

God provides he has shown me that he can. I’m eager to see where this goes.

I am growing in my relationship with my God learning as I spend time with him.

Yes he uses me as well. I look forward to the future I pray that I continue to be faithful I pray I don’t let him down. I’m quite capable of failing him without fail.

The picture I use above is a picture of a church which us over a 100 years old it’s no longer used, it’s submerged under water for part of the year. With all that it has not lost its beauty. That is what Christ does to me.


Forgiving someone is possible, Loving that same person is a gift from God.

2Sa 1:11  Then David took hold of his clothes, and rent them; and so did all the men who were with him;

2Sa 1:12  and they mourned and wept and fasted until evening for Saul and for Jonathan his son and for the people of the LORD and for the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword.


It was genuine grief that made David rend his clothes, Then from the depths of a guileless heart there poured forth the “Song of the Bow,” one of the noblest elegies in any tongue. That David mourned for Jonathan was understandable, he was his friend. That David greived for Saul who sought to kill him, escapes human comprehension.


Mar 3:22  And the scribes who came down from Jerusalem said, “He is possessed by Be-elzebul, and by the prince of demons he casts out the demons.” 
Mar 3:23  And he called them to him, and said to them in parables, “How can Satan cast out Satan? 

The Pharisees circulated this infamous charge-not because they believed it, but to satisfy the questions that were being asked on all sides. What they affirmed they knew to be untrue; but for selfish reasons they would not confess what they really thought. Yet Jesus was not upset, he sat down and exlained that what the Pharisees had said was not possible.

I pray for the grace to forgive and love with a Christ like love, its only when this happens that I will be free to love as Jesus wants me.

Acknowledge him

Luke 10:39-40

39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching.

40 But Martha was distracted with much serving; and she went to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.”

Today I received a scripture during my time of prayer that highlighted what I learned during my study with God.

I learned what Mary did that which pleased Jesus. Martha’s business was good and profitable to her soul. But only one thing is necessary that is God be loved and praised for himself above all other business we may have.

This is what Mary chose. You really cannot love God and and be busy with the necessities of life. You can do this to an extent, however this would be imperfect love.

What Mary had chosen was to love her God with everything she had and just be in his presence this is something that begins here in this life and would continue in the life to come.

Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight.

6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

During my time of prayer I received this scripture, I knew immediately there was more to it than Jesus making straight my paths. What spoke to my heart was the words ‘acknowledge him‘ as the day progressed more light was shed on the topic when I read the scripture below.

Tobit 12:6 Then the angel called the two of them privately and said to them: “Praise God and give thanks to him; exalt him and give thanks to him in the presence of all the living for what he has done for you. It is good to praise God and to exalt his name, worthily declaring the works of God, and with fitting honor to acknowledge him. Do not be slow to give him thanks.

I now realize that I should acknowledge who Jesus is and what Jesus has been doing in my lif, not just want him to answer my prayers or answer questions that come to mind. Basically to do what Mary did when Jesus visited her home.

Hebrews 13:15Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.

One thing I need to seek.

Luke 10:42one thing is needful. Mary has chosen the good portion, which shall not be taken away from her.

I will wait on my God

Isaiah 40:31 but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

Doubts arise and with them questions. What do I place my trust in? How long do I have to wait before I do something about it?

What in me looks for answers? Why at all do I need to know these answers.

My mind has ruled my life for far too long it demands answers as if given power a solution would follow. It’s been two months now without a job and there are no plans in place. God has not spoken. This is something my mind is not used to. It demands answers. It demands action.

From within there is a cry “Trust in God” it’s faint but it is there. Something within says God works in his own time. I have learned over the last few months that my mind doesn’t do a great job when it comes to listening to God. The voice of my God is heard deep within somewhere my mind doesn’t control. For this voice I wait, when the time comes my God will guide me.

The scripture Isaiah 40:31 came out of the blue when questions arose. It lead me to search for God’s word.

Psalms 27:14 Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the LORD!

Psalms 31:24 Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!

Psalms 33:20 Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our help and shield.

Psalms 40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry.

Psalms 130:6 my soul waits for the LORD more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.

Sirach 2:7-8

7 You who fear the Lord, wait for his mercy; and turn not aside, lest you fall.

8 You who fear the Lord, trust in him, and your reward will not fail;

Isaiah 25:9 It will be said on that day, “Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the LORD; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.”

Isaiah 33:2 O LORD, be gracious to us; we wait for you. Be our arm every morning, our salvation in the time of trouble.

Lamentations 3:25 The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul that seeks him.

Now to the part of me which looks for signs convince me after reading these scriptures that I can do better without my God.

To my flesh this is my answer.

Micah 7:7 But as for me, I will look to the LORD, I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

God is not in your mind.

Rom 12:2  Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Some time back while praying. This verse spoke to me with reference to some obstacle I would come across in the days to come. The obstacle arrived and I was at peace.

For a long time I have been convinced that, its not my mind that would communicate with God, yes my mind was part of me and would have a role to play in my salvation, but its contribution would only be part I would also need to control it.

A good example of what is the role of the mind. When you go to a restaurant and order a meal your mind would choose the dishes you like by reading the menu and knowing from past choices what you would like. However, when the food arrives and you put it into your mouth your mind has no more role to play, the eating and digestion is taken care of by your mouth and other internal organs. In the same way with prayer and your relationship with God, your mind will read and interpret things for you but there are other parts of you that will process what your mind tells you. God can also directly speak to you without your mind.

However quite often my mind works more than it should. It always wants to offer me solutions and fixes for things it can never understand. So much so it exceeds itself. My mind offers me alternative solutions and alternate solutions to the alternative solutions, sometimes for variations on the problem I face. I may not be going through the alternative problems but my mind tells me to be prepared just in case I need a solution. To do this It presents to me all the combinations for the problem and what I can do just in case I need solutions.

So, if I have a disagreement with someone, my mind will tell me all the options I have, If the person I have a disagreement with says something I can give a him or her a specific answer, or if he or she says the something else I can still answer that with an answer from the alternative solutions my mind has prepared me for, I may even be thrilled with the answer my mind came up with.

Today’s reading was from Luke about Zechariah and Elizabeth and the visit of Gabriel with Zechariah.

In Luk 1:18 we find Zechariah answer the angle like this

Luk 1:18  And Zechariah said to the angel, “How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years.” 

You see Zechariah was just like me, he thought things out and got himself into trouble.

Luk 1:20  And behold, you will be silent and unable to speak until the day that these things come to pass, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their time.” 

My mind like Zechariah’s mind it likes to understand everything I am told when all that is needed is faith, my mind does not believe in faith, it believes in logic.

I ask myself can my mind get me to heaven and I know without doubt that this will never happen because I do not have the logic needed, programmed into my mind. Also since my mind does not work on faith I doubt it would understand any angel, good or bad or even when God speaks to me.

Now you may wonder what could be bad in thinking things over. There is nothing bad except my mind takes my eyes off Jesus, and when that happens there is a high chance I may mess things up by doing something logical.

For example, when I lost my job two months back, one of the things Jesus told me was not to brood over what has happen, in other words, don’t let my mind dwell on the situation. If I brood I will end up in problems as I will not trust that my God will provide for me.

Another area is in forgiveness, when I analyze the situation when I disagree with someone, I invariably feel I am right, also my mind will convince me that If I did not do what I did or should do then something else would have happened, and I would have to react another way which would cause me more problems. To avoid the multiple problems my mind brings to light I would consider all the options my mind tells me about the person I am dealing with. I would then face him or her with the current problem and other hypothetical problems conjured up by my mind, I am sure you can understand the results. I know I will never be at peace. I have learned not to give my mind an option to analyze things, I just take the situation as it is forgive if needed and move on, I no longer permit the situation to stay in my mind I make sure my mind leaves the thought as well. I have found a lot of peace when I do this.

I feel we have lost the ability to identify Angels when they come to speak to us because we use our minds, I intend to try to learn what inside me can understand these things, I know my God is faithful and will lead me, till then I continue to wait on him.

Your Sins are Forgiven.

Luke 7:47

47 Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

Through Love I have the ability to have my sins forgiven. The more I love the more I long to love.

When Jesus called Mary and said your sins are Forgiven. It was not for her great sorrow nor was it her awareness that she was a sinner nor was it her meekness. Jesus forgave her because he saw how much she loved.

Can I have such Love?

Meekness and what it is as a Christian.

It’s been quite interesting studying the cloud of unknowing. The thirteenth chapter talks about Meekness.

The interesting part for me is learning that there are two types of meekness. The first is when meekness is caused by anything other than God. And the second is when it is caused by God.

The first is imperfect and shall fail at the end of our lives nevertheless this is good. The second is perfect and shall last without end.

Now what do we mean by meekness?

Meekness is the knowing and feeling of ourself just as we are.

There are two things that cause this kind of meekness.

1. The filth, wretchedness and frailty into which we have fallen through sin. We will feel this in some part while we live.

2. The over abundant love and worthiness of God in himself. And that it is not possible as we are to behold this nature of God directly.

Now God asks me where do I stand in regard to meekness in my life. There is a long way to go for me a journey I am beginning to get excited about, the more I learn about my God.

From him comes my salvation.

Psalms 62:1

1 For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.

Sounds good doesn’t it, the question is how do I do this. Yes from God comes my salvation. But how do I wait for it, isn’t there someway I can automate it. Or some way I can make it more efficient so that I can get it faster?

I have been caught up with life and the perpetual hurry to get there. Who knows what there is. It’s defined by some intellectual who thinks he has the answer to a perfect life. Ah yes why not make some money in the bargain.

Jesus I have learned is different he is not in a hurry he is patient he waits for me. I found I can only meet him on his terms.

While I wait he works behind the scenes getting my life in order righting the wrongs making me whole. Nothing visible most times. Till he feels I need to learn something. Then he teaches me through the people around me. Or through what I come across. Sometimes I am slow and he wakes me up from my spiritual slumber by speaking to me directly. There is no mistaking that it is him. The more I wait the easier it is to recognize him. Yes the confirmation of what he said comes latter an encouragement that he is there.

WAIT for your God he will come in his time. Till then nothing can touch you. WAIT on Jesus because in your silence he brings a change.

What do I seek?

Why do I pray like this? and what do I have after all this prayer?  It’s a question I have asked myself over the last few years, I have seen quite a few things happen in my life and have wondered why I believe in God, and why do I continue to follow him in spite of what I see.

I seek God, It is the God that made me, and bought me, and has graciously called me by name. It is this God I covert, it’s this God I seek. I am not an intellectual person, nor am I a spiritually gifted person, but I know my God, I know if I listen to him and hear him, He will take me lower and lower till I see the mind of his passion. Till I see the wonderful kindness of God.

I know my search for God from now on will now be a seeking of Love, in prayer I will overcome the unknown, and with a single word I will answer any distraction and unknowing.

I will one day see the face of God.

God is Sufficient

God does not come to me through curiosity of my mind or through my Imagination.

God is sufficient to fulfill the will and the desire of my soul.

We people have two powers.

  1. The knowledge power to this power God is incomprehensible.
  2. The loving power to this he is comprehensible to the full. This is the endless marvelous miracle of love.

God made us to love we however chose in Adam to use our intellect by listening to its prompting to experience knowledge by eating of the apple. I need to learn to live by love again and not rely on my intellect. My intellect only takes me further and further from God.

I also need to take good care about time and how I spend it. For nothing is more precious than time. As little time as is, heaven may be won or lost by how I spend this time. God won’t change the order of time for me because he is a just God. I will however have to answer for how I have spent the time he has given me.

If I love Jesus all that he has is mine.

God is the maker and giver of time. God is the keeper of time. I need to come close to him in love and belief. By virtue of this knot I will be a common perceiver with him and all that by love is knitted with him. I can use time justly by virtue of this love.

Luke 19:11-28
11 As they heard these things, he proceeded to tell a parable, because he was near to Jerusalem, and because they supposed that the kingdom of God was to appear immediately.
12 He said therefore, ” A nobleman went into a far country to receive kingly powerand then return.
13 Calling ten of his servants, he gave them ten pounds,and said to them, ‘Trade with these till I come.’
28 And when he had said this, he went on ahead, going up to Jerusalem.

This parable is not so much about how the servants used their talents it is about how they used their time when their master was away..

I always wondered why I had to give up things I was good at. I could not understand how I was NOT being permitted to use the talents God gave me. Today I know Jesus is showing me he wants me to spend the time wisely loving him and not get distracted by my talents.

I will no longer waste time with my imagination or my intellect. I continue to meditate on the cloud of unknowing.