47 Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.”
Through Love I have the ability to have my sins forgiven. The more I love the more I long to love.
When Jesus called Mary and said your sins are Forgiven. It was not for her great sorrow nor was it her awareness that she was a sinner nor was it her meekness. Jesus forgave her because he saw how much she loved.
Can I have such Love?
It’s been quite interesting studying the cloud of unknowing. The thirteenth chapter talks about Meekness.
The interesting part for me is learning that there are two types of meekness. The first is when meekness is caused by anything other than God. And the second is when it is caused by God.
The first is imperfect and shall fail at the end of our lives nevertheless this is good. The second is perfect and shall last without end.
Now what do we mean by meekness?
Meekness is the knowing and feeling of ourself just as we are.
There are two things that cause this kind of meekness.
1. The filth, wretchedness and frailty into which we have fallen through sin. We will feel this in some part while we live.
2. The over abundant love and worthiness of God in himself. And that it is not possible as we are to behold this nature of God directly.
Now God asks me where do I stand in regard to meekness in my life. There is a long way to go for me a journey I am beginning to get excited about, the more I learn about my God.
1 For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.
Sounds good doesn’t it, the question is how do I do this. Yes from God comes my salvation. But how do I wait for it, isn’t there someway I can automate it. Or some way I can make it more efficient so that I can get it faster?
I have been caught up with life and the perpetual hurry to get there. Who knows what there is. It’s defined by some intellectual who thinks he has the answer to a perfect life. Ah yes why not make some money in the bargain.
Jesus I have learned is different he is not in a hurry he is patient he waits for me. I found I can only meet him on his terms.
While I wait he works behind the scenes getting my life in order righting the wrongs making me whole. Nothing visible most times. Till he feels I need to learn something. Then he teaches me through the people around me. Or through what I come across. Sometimes I am slow and he wakes me up from my spiritual slumber by speaking to me directly. There is no mistaking that it is him. The more I wait the easier it is to recognize him. Yes the confirmation of what he said comes latter an encouragement that he is there.
WAIT for your God he will come in his time. Till then nothing can touch you. WAIT on Jesus because in your silence he brings a change.
Why do I pray like this? and what do I have after all this prayer? It’s a question I have asked myself over the last few years, I have seen quite a few things happen in my life and have wondered why I believe in God, and why do I continue to follow him in spite of what I see.
I seek God, It is the God that made me, and bought me, and has graciously called me by name. It is this God I covert, it’s this God I seek. I am not an intellectual person, nor am I a spiritually gifted person, but I know my God, I know if I listen to him and hear him, He will take me lower and lower till I see the mind of his passion. Till I see the wonderful kindness of God.
I know my search for God from now on will now be a seeking of Love, in prayer I will overcome the unknown, and with a single word I will answer any distraction and unknowing.
I will one day see the face of God.
God does not come to me through curiosity of my mind or through my Imagination.
God is sufficient to fulfill the will and the desire of my soul.
We people have two powers.
The knowledge power to this power God is incomprehensible.
The loving power to this he is comprehensible to the full. This is the endless marvelous miracle of love.
God made us to love we however chose in Adam to use our intellect by listening to its prompting to experience knowledge by eating of the apple. I need to learn to live by love again and not rely on my intellect. My intellect only takes me further and further from God.
I also need to take good care about time and how I spend it. For nothing is more precious than time. As little time as is, heaven may be won or lost by how I spend this time. God won’t change the order of time for me because he is a just God. I will however have to answer for how I have spent the time he has given me.
If I love Jesus all that he has is mine.
God is the maker and giver of time. God is the keeper of time. I need to come close to him in love and belief. By virtue of this knot I will be a common perceiver with him and all that by love is knitted with him. I can use time justly by virtue of this love.
11 As they heard these things, he proceeded to tell a parable, because he was near to Jerusalem, and because they supposed that the kingdom of God was to appear immediately.
12 He said therefore, ” A nobleman went into a far country to receive kingly powerand then return.
13 Calling ten of his servants, he gave them ten pounds,and said to them, ‘Trade with these till I come.’
28 And when he had said this, he went on ahead, going up to Jerusalem.
This parable is not so much about how the servants used their talents it is about how they used their time when their master was away..
I always wondered why I had to give up things I was good at. I could not understand how I was NOT being permitted to use the talents God gave me. Today I know Jesus is showing me he wants me to spend the time wisely loving him and not get distracted by my talents.
I will no longer waste time with my imagination or my intellect. I continue to meditate on the cloud of unknowing.
Today after a rather long gap God led me forward another step. My spiritual walk seemed to have slowed down and I was not hearing God speak to me or I could not hear his guidance.
I am to understand that I need to seek Jesus and only him. I have been distracted by my plans for a biking trip and I realize now that I should only have Jesus before me. I was under the impression Jesus wanted me to stop buying things or he wanted me to give up the things I love, but I was told clearly today that I need to focus on Jesus only and not get attracted to material things. This attraction is blocking my communication with my God. I need to be with Jesus in this cloud of unknowing just him and me, as he wants to spend time with me. I look forward to the next time he speaks. Till then I am in the cloud.
Can I do this? Can I switch off these things? I am not sure but I am going to give it a try…..
I had been praying for a change in job for many years. I was insistent that any job offer I got should come from God, I would give my resume to any job I came across but I asked that he show me clearly or choose one for me without a doubt, if I was to believe that it is He who has provided it. When my office shifted far from home I was uncomfortable not so much with the distance I had to travel but rather with the time it would take me. I asked Jesus to get me out of this problem, I felt that the time could be used for something better. I told him however as I was submitted to his will I would accept this change and adjust to the extra time spent travelling.
Over the last two years I had been praying that I should be able to clear all my loans and be free from the need to pay someone else every month. To be able to do this I had to decide to make some changes in my lifestyle. I had to give up some things that meant a lot to me and I committed to doing this. I sold my camera and other related things of the hobby I loved as a first step in showing my commitment to listening to the voice of God. I however had to take a loan for my daughters wedding. I accepted that my initial dream of being loan free by the beginning of 2018 was not going to happen as I planned, I would just have to wait a few years longer.
It’s been almost 10 years since I started working at this company and 9 years of working shifts. mostly what was called the graveyard shift, I did not get that dream job I prayed for. I looked forward to the job that would help me clear my loans. At times I would ask myself what was happening why was God not answering my prayer. I just kept surrendering to him telling myself to accept Gods will in my life. I had no idea what his plan was I just had to accept it as it was.
Finally, on the 25th of October 2017 I was relieved from my services at the company I worked for. No new job, no change in my financial state, I took the change well though, I knew as it was God’s plan and since I was resolved to accepting his plan in my life I had to accept this and look forward to the future.
Some days after I lost my job, something struck me, I realized that God answers prayers. I realize that God has a plan for me and it was a plan for my good. I realize I may never see my life as God sees it but I will surely try.
- I prayed for time with my family, I was home during the day the last few years of my wife’s life. God gave me the time with her we had asked for, during the years she was confined to her bed, I got the opportunity to ask her to say Hi to Jesus for me I’m sure she did.
- I prayed for a change in Job. I lost my job. God answered my prayer I no longer have the job I longed to change.
- I prayed that I would be able to clear my loans by 2017, God provided a severance package that made this possible.
- I prayed that I needn’t have to spend so many hours travelling. I now don’t have to travel at all.
- I prayed to Jesus that I get a shift that allowed me to get a good sleep, I now sleep by 11 and get up at 6.
- I prayed to be able to walk in his will. He has answered that I now have to wait on him for direction.
God Answers Prayers…….
I just have to see life through his eyes.