I will wait on my God

Isaiah 40:31 but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

Doubts arise and with them questions. What do I place my trust in? How long do I have to wait before I do something about it?

What in me looks for answers? Why at all do I need to know these answers.

My mind has ruled my life for far too long it demands answers as if given power a solution would follow. It’s been two months now without a job and there are no plans in place. God has not spoken. This is something my mind is not used to. It demands answers. It demands action.

From within there is a cry “Trust in God” it’s faint but it is there. Something within says God works in his own time. I have learned over the last few months that my mind doesn’t do a great job when it comes to listening to God. The voice of my God is heard deep within somewhere my mind doesn’t control. For this voice I wait, when the time comes my God will guide me.

The scripture Isaiah 40:31 came out of the blue when questions arose. It lead me to search for God’s word.

Psalms 27:14 Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the LORD!

Psalms 31:24 Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!

Psalms 33:20 Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our help and shield.

Psalms 40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry.

Psalms 130:6 my soul waits for the LORD more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.

Sirach 2:7-8

7 You who fear the Lord, wait for his mercy; and turn not aside, lest you fall.

8 You who fear the Lord, trust in him, and your reward will not fail;

Isaiah 25:9 It will be said on that day, “Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the LORD; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.”

Isaiah 33:2 O LORD, be gracious to us; we wait for you. Be our arm every morning, our salvation in the time of trouble.

Lamentations 3:25 The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul that seeks him.

Now to the part of me which looks for signs convince me after reading these scriptures that I can do better without my God.

To my flesh this is my answer.

Micah 7:7 But as for me, I will look to the LORD, I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

God is not in your mind.

Rom 12:2  Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Some time back while praying. This verse spoke to me with reference to some obstacle I would come across in the days to come. The obstacle arrived and I was at peace.

For a long time I have been convinced that, its not my mind that would communicate with God, yes my mind was part of me and would have a role to play in my salvation, but its contribution would only be part I would also need to control it.

A good example of what is the role of the mind. When you go to a restaurant and order a meal your mind would choose the dishes you like by reading the menu and knowing from past choices what you would like. However, when the food arrives and you put it into your mouth your mind has no more role to play, the eating and digestion is taken care of by your mouth and other internal organs. In the same way with prayer and your relationship with God, your mind will read and interpret things for you but there are other parts of you that will process what your mind tells you. God can also directly speak to you without your mind.

However quite often my mind works more than it should. It always wants to offer me solutions and fixes for things it can never understand. So much so it exceeds itself. My mind offers me alternative solutions and alternate solutions to the alternative solutions, sometimes for variations on the problem I face. I may not be going through the alternative problems but my mind tells me to be prepared just in case I need a solution. To do this It presents to me all the combinations for the problem and what I can do just in case I need solutions.

So, if I have a disagreement with someone, my mind will tell me all the options I have, If the person I have a disagreement with says something I can give a him or her a specific answer, or if he or she says the something else I can still answer that with an answer from the alternative solutions my mind has prepared me for, I may even be thrilled with the answer my mind came up with.

Today’s reading was from Luke about Zechariah and Elizabeth and the visit of Gabriel with Zechariah.

In Luk 1:18 we find Zechariah answer the angle like this

Luk 1:18  And Zechariah said to the angel, “How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years.” 

You see Zechariah was just like me, he thought things out and got himself into trouble.

Luk 1:20  And behold, you will be silent and unable to speak until the day that these things come to pass, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their time.” 

My mind like Zechariah’s mind it likes to understand everything I am told when all that is needed is faith, my mind does not believe in faith, it believes in logic.

I ask myself can my mind get me to heaven and I know without doubt that this will never happen because I do not have the logic needed, programmed into my mind. Also since my mind does not work on faith I doubt it would understand any angel, good or bad or even when God speaks to me.

Now you may wonder what could be bad in thinking things over. There is nothing bad except my mind takes my eyes off Jesus, and when that happens there is a high chance I may mess things up by doing something logical.

For example, when I lost my job two months back, one of the things Jesus told me was not to brood over what has happen, in other words, don’t let my mind dwell on the situation. If I brood I will end up in problems as I will not trust that my God will provide for me.

Another area is in forgiveness, when I analyze the situation when I disagree with someone, I invariably feel I am right, also my mind will convince me that If I did not do what I did or should do then something else would have happened, and I would have to react another way which would cause me more problems. To avoid the multiple problems my mind brings to light I would consider all the options my mind tells me about the person I am dealing with. I would then face him or her with the current problem and other hypothetical problems conjured up by my mind, I am sure you can understand the results. I know I will never be at peace. I have learned not to give my mind an option to analyze things, I just take the situation as it is forgive if needed and move on, I no longer permit the situation to stay in my mind I make sure my mind leaves the thought as well. I have found a lot of peace when I do this.

I feel we have lost the ability to identify Angels when they come to speak to us because we use our minds, I intend to try to learn what inside me can understand these things, I know my God is faithful and will lead me, till then I continue to wait on him.